Death At A Funeral (You Didn’t Know Jack)

The people who mourn seldom say anything.

It’s hard to “un-notice” – but many don’t talk about it to instead honour the one who passed away.

Until I saw it firsthand, I never knew this behavior even existed: There’s a class of no class who attack the dead (who can’t reply) or the mourning (who can only grieve).

While others pray, they prey.

It’s bad energy to focus on the bad during a time that is precious to honour the dead. We prefer hearing about the good instead, as a reflection of who we are (who we want to be) or who someone else was. How we wish things are remembered or lived.

"love is better than anger" - Jack Layton, who lived until 61.

Meanwhile, the creepy just keep creeping without anything to stop it. There's no posthumous letter or journal replying like you see ending Cruel Intentions.

http://youtu.be/qBCDvRS16_s

I got reminded of it recently when columnist Christie Blatchford in a national newspaper chose to attack Jack Layton’s last words within 24 hours of his death.

http://by.mcleangreaves.com/2011/08/christie-blatchford-trashes-jack-layton-troll/

"Jack" had just lost his battle to cancer. And as if without a thought, Ms. Blatchford chose to critique him nationally after his loved ones had just watched their loved one pass away. She chose to make a “public spectacle” of it—adding a few choice words for those who mourned him in “public.”

To be sure, there’s worse in this class of no class.

After legendary NHL coach Pat Burns lost a valiant battle to cancer, thieves waited for his widow to mourn him at his memorial. They took that opportunity to break into her car and stole memorabilia slated to benefit cancer. I soon learned theft at a funeral/memorial isn’t uncommon. But what is a widow to do? Chase after thieves or honour a loved one?

http://ca.sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Police-recover-stolen-Pat-Burns-items-as-communi?urn=nhl-291367

As NHL coach of the year (3 teams), Pat Burns, who lived until 58, was respected for taking no non-sense.

In some countries like Syria, many widows don’t even honour their loved ones publicly in fear of reprisals. They prefer private unmarked graves. Who you associate with determines if you’ll be attacked.

Closer to home, a Westboro Baptist Church group was about to picket a 9 year old girl’s funeral. The 9 year old was randomly murdered while attending Congresswoman Gabrielle Gifford’s public event to learn about public service.

"I hope you jump in rain puddles." ~ Christina Taylor Green, born on 9/11, who lived until 9.

Opportunistically (of course), the church group called off the protest in exchange for air time in Toronto and Arizona:

http://www.torontosun.com/news/world/2011/01/12/16862466.html

Some people will do anything for attention at any time. Those wanting the most attention want to make everything about them. Their only context is their opinion. Your life won't matter.

Irish teen Phoebe Prince was bullied to death (she hung herself after being relentlessly bullied for months by her American classmates). After she died from bullycide, bullies then preyed on her friends who mourned or defended her (especially if they spoke to the media).

One girl was beaten up after she talked to the press about Phoebe's life at school.

As if bullying her in life was not enough, after Phoebe Prince died, bullies publicly posted vulgar items on her Facebook tribute page:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Phoebe_Prince

Phoebe Prince lived until 15

This also happened to a teen posthumously in British Columbia. Vulgar items posted were beyond shocking. Details you’d never read about in the news:

http://www.torontosun.com/news/canada/2010/09/27/15496966.html

Laura Szendrei lived until 15. A teenager has been arrested for her murder (in a park in broad daylight, near many people).

Bullying after death is common in a world where CNN reports 20% of our kids are bullies.

* * *

2002 photo I took of Nicole Vienneau at Vancouver's Wreck Beach who disappeared 5 years later at age 32: http://www.findnicolevienneau.com/ Her last word in a 2007 diary after a sunset was: "Content."

After my friend Nicole Vienneau disappeared, some commentators, who didn’t know Nicole, publicly wrote she deserved it for going to the Middle East. She can’t even have a memorial/funeral, she is still #Missing.

Her late father lost his battle to pancreatic cancer after moderating Canada’s national elections debate.

Nicole's dad David Vienneau moderated the 2004 Canadian elections debate on Global TV. David lost his battle to cancer that year. Jack Layton lost his battle to cancer 7 years later.

Nicole's mom to this day still looks for her. A mother cannot stop looking for her child. What did these people do to you, who say she deserved it?

You one-off opinionators are long-gone now after getting your attention for the day. But everyday, we still look for Nicole:

http://xthespot.blogspot.com/2010/04/criminal-mind-tracing-disappearance-of.html

Nicole was not the only Canadian in peril for whom national newspaper commentators have said, “she deserved it.” I've seen these comments for hostages who were kidnapped--still kidnapped. Some folks just believe their opinion matters at any time and seek attention for it at any time. They are masters of evoking hostility.

The common denominator is they seem to think if others are not like them, they can freely attack them, whenever they want.

* * *

I became interested in stories like these to learn how grieving victims were able to heal from this. These morbid stories left me speechless, asking, "Who died?"

After my brother lost his battle to cancer, some disgruntled people I once knew were trying to provoke me by exploiting photos of my dead brother commercially. Weeks of emails demanding them to stop were denied. I cited a DCMA takedown notice (copyright notice) for the first and only time ever. It was not until a lawyer for a former US Vice President made a request that they ceased. There were no apologies.

My brother's last photo post was a Black Tile. He wanted to leave Earth at age 29 image-less.

Before the photo exploitation incident, one of them had already publicly disrupted my late brother’s memorial planning session. Brazenly, this bully was trying to pick a fight before many witnesses. Out loud, he made up a story: “Stop posting those penis shots online.” I kid you not. There were many witnesses. In one week, earlier, four friends I had just seen (separately) told me how this bully had approached them immediately after I met them, making up stories about me (with no details when probed). I was actually being followed. Another friend heard the bully planning to "ambush" me in public. The bully eventually found me at my brother's memorial planning session. The bully was so oblivious to everyone around - no crowd around me dissuaded the bullying.

I’d been a dissenting board director at the bully’s company – they refused to have board meetings or provide mandated financial reports to directors. They’ve since taken off and refused to disclose where they put company assets/records as investors chased them. But before this, they invited people to attack me, and appeared to some folks as being truthful. Meanwhile, I did nothing for months to honor my brother. After a while, I discovered I was not the only victim. No one had said anything.

We honour what we treasure most. We say little about what we disdain.

But I often ask myself what is harder – having watched my brother die on our mother’s birthday—his last words were, “happy birthday mom” (hope that’s okay Ms. Blatchford) -- or watching bullies attack right after (for months). I haven’t been able to tell myself an answer. To be honest, I don’t even know if I grieved. I spent most of my bereavement time with lawyers dealing with defamation, extortion and intimidation. It made recovering from this a lot harder. Their dishonourable acts will forever be associated with my brother’s death. He can only die once and they can't take what they did back.

Selfish folks decided this was their time to attack.

I could have ended this blog on that line. But the truth is, there are a lot of good people, decent people, who know this is the time for someone else. People who don’t make every waking moment about themselves. People who make it happen for other people. These are people who truly “make things better.”

Ed Note – It took me 3+ years to say this. I scrapped so many versions. For this topic, it was hard to focus beyond my brother who passed away. RIP.

Who Really Is The “Original Gangsta”?

Media and political elites seem to get the public riled up about looting during a riot. The visual imagery is stunning as spin doctors sharpen what the public understands.

But ask yourself, are you being played?

Look closely at the world of looting.

Who actually stole the most?

In England, ‎the better question might even be: who hasn't looted?

Didn’t we just read about MPs cheating on expense accounts or police taking bribes? Didn’t we just read about journalists hacking phones? And are we not in a devastating recession because wealthy bankers swindled beyond what anyone could count? Big picture, looters taking a pair of running shoes or a TV set seem like small potatoes.

All the retail looting in the world combined would not even come close to what Wall Street looted.

In the words of one English rioter: who really is the “original gangsta”?

* * *

By accusing street looters, it’s easy to deflect from wealthy looters who have irreparably ravaged our economy at great scale (with whom politicians have a great conflict of interest).

Political crisis managers know how the public understands a ruined material world far better than the banker’s world of financial paper where looting $1 million is small potatoes. Laws may protect the bountiful but not so much the deprived who become easy political pickings for justice.

Perspective: If magazines can cause anorexia, dare we ask if advertisers can cause looting?

The public and politicians will see what they want to see.

Seeing someone break glass is a lot easier than seeing someone stealing paper.

In The Big Short, best-selling author Michael Lewis references one banker who made $100 million literally ripping off the poor. Bankers facilitated so many fraudulent deals that even they couldn’t tell what was going on. And somehow, they get a get-out-of-jail-free card (if not a bailout as well). That’s because our economic recovery depends on these wealthy weasels. The money machine doesn’t work without them.

Show me the money!

If you ever wonder why they don’t chase after 1000 corrupt bankers with the same zeal as 1000 London rioters, this is why.

It’s far easier to get away with stealing $1 million or $1 billion than stealing a pair of running shoes. Politically, the media and public instantly get outraged when material possessions are stolen or damaged. But what the Federal Reserve did remains a mystery.

You can even write a book about financial travesties – rampant fraud – on Wall Street like Michael Lewis did and it won’t even lead to charges being pressed.

Why – because the world as politicians know it would break down if all these wealthy crooks were jailed.

The tragic irony: By punishing all Wall Street fraudsters– who punished us into recession—we’d be punishing ourselves even further. We depend on these fraudulent looters for our economic recovery.

“When you’re a conservative Republican you never think, people are making people money by ripping other people off” ~ Steve Eisman (The Big Short, Michael Lewis)

You may debate whether or not the folks who looted financial sectors caused the "underclass" in London to riot but one thing is amply clear. Financial sector looters wreaked far more havoc on our lives. The damage they caused is immeasurable.

* * *

Imagine a culture – of not just greed – but of people ripping people off to make money. Imagine if this is what the majority did on Wall Street. Almost every major bank had a hand in it. This was the complicit culture of Wall Street that spun us into a horrible recession.

And who were the first victims of these wealthy looters? Poor folks who never even had a chance to repay loans (with fraudulent interest rates). The next victims were investors of these loans who were led to believe they were profitable but in reality were just investing in deferred bad debt. Many of these investors were even guaranteed by the government – another oblivious victim, now in a debt crisis.

Accounting can do funny things to the eye. It can allow someone to loot without breaking any glass.

Sub-prime Mortgage = House of $

* * *

For a few years, I’ve been involved in a case where $1 million was put into severe jeopardy by directors.

Goodbye!

Relative to other financial cases, $1 million doesn’t even register on the radar. But the mechanics of any bad money trail have common denominators. And this is what I saw.

The laws are actually very clear – Criminal Code and Civil Law. There was no doubt how they could be applied to what went wrong. The realities, however, of applying them are murky.

Unlike charges for a stolen tv, theft/fraud cases involving money or paper take years to prosecute. You only read about a few cases succeeding - after many years of legal pursuit where lawyers are paid a handsome fortune.

You can see how it is almost too easy for folks to steal money from a corporate bank account, mislead investors or disappear with corporate assets.

Regulators, politicians and prosecutors might give the public a piñata to focus on like Lehman Brothers (re: no bailout) or Bernie Madoff. But do we ever ask, what ever happened to the rest?

World's largest piñata - like a Trojan Horse

Your chance to hit the ass while blindfolded

Economic advisors will say we depend on many of these culprits to re-vitalize the economy and some of these grease balls need to be bailed out to grease the economic engine. Economic crimes this vast need to be kept under the carpet for the money machine to work again.

"Please allow me to introduce myself

I'm a man of wealth and taste"

~ Sympathy for the Devil

"But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game" ~ Sympathy For the Devil

Even if every wealthy looter was pursued, it’s not nearly as easy as convicting an 11-year-old East London boy in England for stealing a garbage can during the London Riots.

A fraud police officer tells me how difficult it is to chase even someone who brazenly takes $1 million from a corporate account.

For a fraud or paper theft to be processed, one would need documents to prove who owned the money or assets. And who had rights to the property and money and in what capacity to appropriate them. These are typically documents white collar criminals keep hidden away. Confidentiality agreements keep almost anyone from sharing them.

Without whistleblowers, like Enron had, the victims seldom have access to these documents. That is, the wealthy looter can keep the evidence hidden to maintain their looting interests. All they have to do is hide proof from the victim(s).

Wrongful document destruction was only recently made easier to prosecute. But it is still not easy. You can argue stupidity or bad judgment as a defense.

Forensic accountants and lawyers would need to file reports proving ownership, theft, fraud and/or misrepresentation. This might add up to more than $100,000 in fees. Unlike a store burglary, it’s not good enough to just say “our money/assets” have gone missing--even if you know who did it and where the proceeds of the white-collar crime are.

Legal processes go a long way to safeguard the wealthy looter.

The 1st legal issue is typically: Who is in charge of this issue? Geographic and legal jurisdictions are not simple to prove:

1) Where can you prove the crime took place?
2) Where do you reside as a victim?
3) Where is the paper trail (lawyers, HQ, corporate registry) located? Or worse, where is the digital trail?
4) Where does the suspect reside?

Borderline Crime - Who's jurisdiction?

The criminal code is typically different in every jurisdiction. Likewise for civil laws.

Regulators also have the same jurisdictional issues and legal quandaries to consider. The line up for financial complaints is long. We can only wish for the same zeal politicians have for stolen merchandise be applied to missing corporate assets valued at more than $1 million.

The burden of proof can get ugly. You first have to prove you even have the right to chase after this looter. Is it your role as an investor/stakeholder or a company officer’s role?

The sophisticated wealthy looter will also stonewall you and cost you a fortune in legal fees (after they use proceeds from crimes to cover their legal fees). Some billionaires have enough wealth to take on the Government of Canada.

Who else can bill $500 an hour to read emails?

You don't need a lawyer, you need a hostage negotiator!

There’s far greater means to defend, stall or hide a white-collar crime. For victims, the court of public opinion might end up being a far better alternative to civil or criminal court costs.

I believe we’ve only seen the tip of the iceberg when it comes to wealthy looting. Just ask yourself how many have been desperate to preserve their lifestyle (the only world they know).

Politicians depend on wealthy contributions for campaign donations and economic recovery. We've seen Britain's PM bandying a buzzword like “criminality” for the London Riots, but notice how rare it's applied to the financial sector.

This would be more realistic if the people behind the PM wore pinstripes

But let’s take it down a notch closer to home. I recently read a fascinating article about corporate looting by employees.

The article illuminates everyday forms of corporate looting such as using company telephones to call your spouse or electricity to charge your phone:

http://www.fortunewatch.com/what-comprises-corporate-theft/

Admit it: How many people do you personally know took a hotel towel?

I recently heard an ingenius way of taking from a hotel mini-bar without getting caught. You just go to 7-11 or the liquor store next day (buying items at a lower cost) and replace everything you took. There’s a lot of thinking like this in financial sectors. The devious might even take from one mini-bar (breaking into an unguarded room) to fill up another mini-bar.

One grocery store chain owner decades ago wrote in his memoir staff theft impacted his bottom line by 30%: Why his chain went out of business.

A flight attendant at an airline confided that the cash till sometimes doesn’t balance and staff do get investigated for looting. Airline attendants are severely underpaid and often hold multiple jobs. Not that this is what causes looting.

So before casting stones at so-called “looters,” ask yourself who hasn’t looted? And who looted far more. I honestly don't know of a single person who hasn't broken the law (speeding, jaywalking etc.). I still can't figure out how the media determines what is a serious theft and what they can skip over.

At sentencing, I think many retail looters would prefer the deal Wall Street got. Just hope you don't meet a judge like this who figured out a way to make money sending kids to jail for minor infractions: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1359154/Cash-kids-judge-took-1m-kickback-private-jail-builder-lock-children-up.html

Unfortunately, the poor looter likely won’t be as lucky as the wealthy looter. Inequities are not just the cause of looting, but they also determine who gets away.

"No One" as a figure of speech

No one will watch video online – the quality is bad.

No one will pay 99 cents for a song—it’s free on Napster.

No one will like cell phone photos—the quality is too inferior.

No one will use Facebook in Canada. MySpace is far more interesting.

No one will donate to Artists online –there's not enough money.

No one will donate by phone—they don’t get texting to pay.

No One became the most played US radio song in 2008 and was still Top 10 for 2009. Not knowing she'd succeed, Alicia Keys spoke to us in Harlem like this.

As a kid, I wrote an essay for City Hall called Nobody. After hearing so many people say "nobody can do it" – I created a superhero robot called Nobody who could do what Nobody could do. “No One” is a series of sentiments I heard from leading-edge internet pioneers in Canada. Dreams came true for what no one could do.

1989 caption
‎

"Is it that desire to spontaneously initiate excitement? That we

hit the glove before play starts; that
we swing the bat before the pitch is
thrown; that we dig our feet into the
ground; or that we stare across the
horizon and grip the bat before the
moment comes?"

~ 1st line in only baseball story i ever wrote (1989)

* * *

2011

Mr. 3000.

Photo from Are you ready NEW YORK?

He conjured the fountain of youth with one swing. "The ball was in the air, disappearing into the kind of white clouds Norman Rockwell loved to paint, and Derek Jeter watched it the way a child watches a runaway balloon floating across a midsummer sky."

"Diminished" Derek Jeter caused New York City to leap higher than it's been in a long while, sending his #3000 hit to heaven. He faced the fates of history and sent everything there.

His home run for #3000 created a monument in left field. But the pressure was greater going five for five to win the game.

To reach that hallowed ground, he didn't just beat one of the game's best young stars five times (6 if you count the base he stole), he didn't accept ball four for a free pass.

New York Tourist (then and now)

Moses put a highway through the Bronx

splitting the community in two.

1978

Tourist: (no words, just sitting, looking across)

Subway Rider: What the f--k are you looking at? Do you have a death wish?

2008

Tourist:

How do I get to Times Square?

Subway Rider: Take the 1 Uptown, get off at 42^nd.

1978

Tourist (no words, just walking)

Times Square Hustler/Pimp: You look like you could use a little action tonight.

2008
Tourist: Where is MTV?

Times Square Cop: Look for the Lion King sign.

1978

Tourist: Help me!!!!!

Times Square Loiterer: Gimme me all your money!

"The Boulevard of Broken Dreams."

(where no one helps)

2008
Times Square Panhandler – Do you have any "Change"?

Tourist: Terrorist!

New York - concrete jungle where dreams are made of.

(where bystanders swarm a panhandler)

1978 Radio: “The police in New York City, they chased a boy right through the park. In a case of mistaken identity they put a bullet through his heart." ~ Heartbreaker

2008 Radio: “I'm the new Sinatra, and since I made it here, I can make it anywhere, yeah, they love me everywhere" ~ Empire State of Mind

1978

Tourist (no words, duck! Beer bottle flying)

Yankee Stadium Fan: Your mother is a….@#&**--

2008

Tourist: Let’s Go Yankees!

Yankee Stadium Fan: Let’s Go Yankees!

MTV 1515 Broadway (Times Square)

(from gritty insanity to sanitized polish)

Sequel to All Gone (Run On)

Behind One Side of the Riot Mask

This is the most eloquent essay on the Vancouver riots I've read so far, and most eloquent piece I've ever read from a police officer. I don't normally post the work of others here, but it was worthy. The writing style shows talent. Photo commentary is from me.

1000s stood by doing nothing, many cheering rioters on.

Only rare citizens defended:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/fjelstud/women-valiantly-defend-bmw-from-vancouver-rioters

Who burned our City? "Anarchists"? "Thugs"? "Hooligans"?

Suburban "punks"? "Criminals"? Emerging riot faces are turning

out to be a Team Canada water polo scholarship student,

a UBC biology student and an Oakley sponsored cyclist. They

forgot to add "privileged kids burned their City" in the multiple

choice.

Dear 2011 Vancouver Stanley Cup Rioters,

Please stop saying you’re sorry. Stop posting YouTube videos begging for forgiveness. Stop writing letters asking that society cut you some slack and leave you alone.

While you were drunk and flipping cars, I was driving with all of my emergency equipment on to get into Vancouver. While you were throwing anything you could get your hands on at the police, I was pressure testing my APR and standing in the middle of the tear gas. While you and thousands of others disgraced Vancouver and its surrounding population, I stood shoulder to shoulder with a couple hundred men and women, whom I trust my life with, ready to address your indiscretions.

You came up to me like you owned the streets in your drunken stupor, thrust your middle fingers in my face and shouted obscenities; I didn’t snap you in half.

Actions speak louder than words.

You started “harmless” fires. You torched other men and women’s cars whom you’d never met and never did you wrong. You assaulted firemen as they arrived to try and deal with your “mistakes.” You took limited, valuable emergency resources away from good people who needed them. You endangered more lives by tying up emergency services than you ever considered.

You started fights. You stabbed people you’d never met because they somehow made you angry. You gave men and women trying to protect property life-altering concussions. You brought paramedics into the tear gas and exhausted them trying to save people they’d never met.

You showed up to hospital emergency rooms crying because you’d been exposed to tear gas. You got obnoxious and demanded to be treated like you were somehow dying. You knew it was a riot, you chose not to leave, you chose to stick around and breathe the tear gas in. You took nurses and doctors away from people who needed their care to live. People they’d never met but work tirelessly to save. You demanded to be treated as if you were better than the rest of society.

You’d tell me that the emergency services personnel I speak of are paid to do this job and chose to be there. You’re right. We give a damn about people we’ve never met and property that isn’t ours, that’s why we do what we do. You disgust us.

What brought a tear to my eye, after the gas had cleared, was standing in the middle of an intersection at about 3 a.m. The only people I’d seen for the last 30 minutes were other police officers, until a shopkeeper brought us a case of water. Then I saw a random person with a broom clearing the sidewalk. I had a duty to respond, the citizens of Vancouver immediately afterward could have just left it up to those paid to deal with it. They didn’t just stand by, they came out in force and cleaned up after your indiscretions. Everyone I saw that early morning thanked me. I was only doing my job. I have the utmost respect for all of the people from Vancouver and the surrounding areas that came downtown and volunteered to clean up after you.

You owe Vancouver and the surrounding population more than mere words. Don’t you dare ask for our forgiveness without taking responsibility. You can’t fix life-altering injuries with an “I’m Sorry.” You can’t repay someone’s car loan with a YouTube video. You ask that people leave you and your family alone but you offer no way to replace priceless losses.

You’ll sleep soundly in your bed tonight because men and women like me will always be there to deal with your poor choices. You have no idea how fortunate you are, even after we arrest and charge you. Even though you disgust me, if you call for me in the middle of the night I’ll respond. I’ll protect your life and property because it’s right and it’s what I do.

The evening of June 15, 2011 fellow emergency services personnel, my brothers and sisters, left our families at home and while grossly outnumbered stood to fight. The morning of June 16, 2011 the true heroes emerged to volunteer their time and restored my faith in humanity.

Actions speak louder than words. What are you going to do about that?

— a police officer from the suburbs, who was called in to serve and protect on that night; a proud Vancouverite.

Story behind the letter:
http://www.montrealgazette.com/technology/Spare+apologies+tells+Vancouver+rioters/5007050/story.html

Shoot The Arrow

Shoot the arrow
To find its destiny
Who knows when the last time will be

These things in life
That weren't meant to be
They weren't for free

As I get older, more things happen. I try not to take it for granted when the last time will be to create a New World. A sextet written at Caffe Vivaldi as I imagined a friend transitioning towards a new destiny.


* * *

Confidence is like an arrow
It pierces the air, fast and free
People watch it fly to the sky

A clarity of destiny, vibrating forward
A resonance to find the target
Shot by someone's feel and aim

As i stay confident, things are happening. I try not to take it for granted before this New World fades. A sextet written in a Toronto web cafe as I live a new destiny.